If you can manage to choose u and v such that u = v = x, then the answer is just (1/2)x^2, which is easy to remember. Oh, and add a '+C' or you'll get yelled at.

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Check out the first video for the answer to

“What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?”

and follow xkcd’s What If? The Video Series channel to be notified about each new video.